New Hampshire Diary #3

Yo Diary!

We drove to Keene, NH, leaving a trail of banana peels in our midst. Our gorilla chatter went on for hours on the long drive, until we finally arrived. I had never seen so much snow before! After a delicious meal, we retired into our Bed and Breakfast... a bit tiny for a gorilla but comfortable none the less.

I roomed with Zora Neale Hurston, who not only enjoyed the room piping hot as I do, but enjoyed snoozing her alarm as many times as possible before getting up in the morning.

Day Two:

Arrived on campus and toured the wonderful facilities. We jumped around in our gorilla suits to warm up for the performance and rehearsed onstage.

During the show, the energy from the crowd was terrific. They seemed to enjoy our improv, especially my blues rhyme about eating cauliflower in the shower. I was quite embarrassed when I made a mistake during my big note on "Size 2 Pants." I suppose I should have agreed to the clause in the contract where Marni Nixon would dub me for that note... Maybe next time, Marni.

My favorite moment was my portrayal of Julia Child. I could feel the audience really enjoyed my performance. And when I got to pie Janis Joplin/Tammy the Tummy, I really gave it to her, which was tremendous fun. It was great to hear so much positive feedback from our viewers.

Afterwards, we had an intense meal at a Mexican restaurant in town. Our waiter, Steven, had a huge sexual energy and said "ohhhhh yeahhh" at everything we ordered and raised his eyebrows seductively when I ordered my second Margarita. Hey, I know gorillas are attractive but calm yourself!

The next day we all snored as Aphra drove us home. Somehow, we misplaced our large bag of bananas, a huge mistake when you have a car full of gorillas! We'll need extra reinforcements next time.

Until then I remain yours truly,

Audrey Hepburn

March 8, 2011