New Hampshire Diary #3

Yo Diary!

We drove to Keene, NH, leaving a trail of banana peels in our midst. Our gorilla chatter went on for hours on the long drive, until we finally arrived. I had never seen so much snow before! After a delicious meal, we retired into our Bed and Breakfast... a bit tiny for a gorilla but comfortable none the less.

I roomed with Zora Neale Hurston, who not only enjoyed the room piping hot as I do, but enjoyed snoozing her alarm as many times as possible before getting up in the morning.

Day Two:

Arrived on campus and toured the wonderful facilities. We jumped around in our gorilla suits to warm up for the performance and rehearsed onstage.

During the show, the energy from the crowd was terrific. They seemed to enjoy our improv, especially my blues rhyme about eating cauliflower in the shower. I was quite embarrassed when I made a mistake during my big note on "Size 2 Pants." I suppose I should have agreed to the clause in the contract where Marni Nixon would dub me for that note... Maybe next time, Marni.

My favorite moment was my portrayal of Julia Child. I could feel the audience really enjoyed my performance. And when I got to pie Janis Joplin/Tammy the Tummy, I really gave it to her, which was tremendous fun. It was great to hear so much positive feedback from our viewers.

Afterwards, we had an intense meal at a Mexican restaurant in town. Our waiter, Steven, had a huge sexual energy and said "ohhhhh yeahhh" at everything we ordered and raised his eyebrows seductively when I ordered my second Margarita. Hey, I know gorillas are attractive but calm yourself!

The next day we all snored as Aphra drove us home. Somehow, we misplaced our large bag of bananas, a huge mistake when you have a car full of gorillas! We'll need extra reinforcements next time.

Until then I remain yours truly,

Audrey Hepburn

March 8, 2011

New Hampshire Diary #2

Dearest Book,

Monday, March 7, 2011: The car ride to New Hampshire was pretty smooth. Audrey Hepburn, Azucena Viaflore, and I spoke quickly and frequently in the beginning. I guess the excitement of getting out of the city got to us, plus, it’s always great to be travelling with intriguing young women and engaging in “girl talk”. Then, in the midst of all the excitement, we all fell asleep as if a magician had placed a spell on us. It was really funny. I woke up to some pretty beautiful scenery. If someone dropped me off in New Hampshire and drove off, I wouldn’t mind. I’d have time to soak in the quiet and calm atmosphere, which would be fantastic for all of my creative thoughts and ideas.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011: Today was so tiring. I have to say though, it was all really rewarding because our show at Keene State was amazingly fun. I really did go over the top out when I portrayed the mad waitress in MFK Fisher’s “Define This Word”. A GGOT fan walked up to the stage after the show and told us that she had not only been a fan since she was 15, but also, that she had travelled 3 hours to see this particular show! At that moment, I was incredibly proud to be a Guerrilla Girl On Tour. It just proves that comedy and compassion go a long way, because this fan also said that she was crying by the end of it. Wow! And of course, that’s the reason why Guerrilla Girls On Tour step up to the plate to share this message…and pie people in the face (that was the first time I got pied in the face and it was a fantastic, yummy part of my day!). People really are listening. And feminism is NOT dead.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011: I couldn’t really get to sleep very well, which was strange, considering the fact that I usually dose off the moment I hit a pillow. Anyway, I woke up twice during the night; once when I had to go to the bathroom, and the other time when Audrey Hepburn performed a riveting, mysterious, very loud monologue in her sleep.

We had to wake up really early to get back to the hustle and bustle of NY, so I couldn’t snooze 8 times like I usually do. Bummer. I showered, tried to wash the pie cream out of my hair. After an English muffin and some weak coffee, I got into the car and immediately started snapping corny pictures to capture some memories of Keene, New Hampshire. Until we meet again.

Love,

Zora Neale Hurston

March 9, 2011

New Hampshire Diary #1

Journal Dearest–

The last few days have been such a frenzy of food and frolicking through the town of Keene in New Hampshire. With each mile away from the polluted New York, I gained a greater understanding of what living in the country means. It was a fairly brief ride up through Conn. and Mass. in our comfy guerrilla girl-mobile – fully equipped with show-tunes and enough sugar snacks to feed a group of baby elephants. The snow kissed trees amid the grounds of the Keene Bed and Breakfast greeted us with silvery smiles. I was promptly offered the Mommy Dearest room, adored with Joan Crawford’s original furniture (who knew she once lived in New Hampshire). I’m still trying to decide if this was meant to serve as a compliment or an insult. But, I must say, I slept like a baby. So, maybe Mommy Dearest was sending me her blessings.

Despite some preliminary technical glitches, the show was a great success! Women and men of all ages seemed happy to be there and ready to participate. With a full belly, my neon yellow guerrilla-fied body was ready to move, talk, dance, and sing about the substances that nourish us all – FOOD! At moments we really seemed to surprise and delight the audience. For example, they definitely got kick out of our Lady Gaga parody of “Size 2 Pants”. Also, the Tammy the Tummy Pie-in-the-Face moment seemed to surprise us all. She never saw it coming! Unfortunately, she didn’t see the floor coming either when she had a tiny slip to the ground during the closing Traditional Feminist Dance. Don’t worry, she was A-OK. Thank you Tammy for being such a great sport! We couldn’t have done it without you!

When performing a show about food, one must eat good food (and drink)! Fortunately for us, the town of Keene had delectable treats that filled out tummies with joy! While the veggie pizza and “layer cake” wine indulged both our savory and sweet sides, the fries at Fritz made me want to dance around like a school girl. The whole process of dipping these darling little fried delights into several different types of sauces was both delicious and fun! However, our dining experiences where definitely brought to a pinnacle during our post show meal at the local Mexican joint. At first, I thought perhaps our server, Steven, had been shipped in from some tropical island because his surfer style of speaking and wave-like liquid motions made me feel as though he were still rocking on some ship. Looking at him and listening to his vaguely sexual tone of speaking, it seemed almost impossible not to giggle at points. But the trusty Sam Adams Winter Ale and black bean taquitos set it all straight.

All in all, the trip was an enjoyable and scrumptious success!

Hasta Luego,

Azucena Villaflor

March 9, 2011