Saturday, March 26, 2011


Dear GGOT Diary,

What a great tour! I have to admit I was a little nervous about this one. Touring to southern, red states always makes me nervous. I'm never sure how I (being a black Guerrilla Girl On Tour), or how we (being feminists), will be received. But I had no reason to be nervous because Aphra, Edith and I received the warmest welcome from one of the most diverse schools I have ever toured to.

The welcoming faculty was great. As we toured the theater and dance department we discussed the true meaning of feminism, and how some of the school's female students felt uncomfortable identifying as feminists, (despite the fact that they believe what feminism stands for). Ah it’s the same wherever we go and I immediately knew that everyone on the campus of Henderson U in Arkadelphia, Arkansas was on our side!

The performance went really well. We kept the energy up, the audience laughed where they were supposed to and they loved "Size Two Pants". When I picked a man from the audience to point out as a "true feminist" it just so happened that I chose the schools Vice President! He was perfect. Immediately, I could tell that he was a man of power and intelligence. He had a great sense of humor, and went with the joke. After the show he came over and told us how much he enjoyed it and how much he learned from “Feminists Are Funny”.

Here's a fun fact for ya: Did you know that March 15th, the day of our show, was National Hug a Lesbian day? We didn't. But, during "Announcements from the Audience" we learned that it was! At curtain call, Edith ran right up into the audience, and hugged herself a bunch of lesbians! I followed right behind Edith and so did Aphra, hugging until we were too tired to hug anyone else.

There's nothing better than taking an extra 45 minutes to leave the stage, because the audience is still loving you. We were signing t-shirts, and posters, and taking picture after picture after the show. It felt really great.

I learned something huge from this tour. There's no need to stress about any of our tour destinations. You never know how the audience is going to react. In blue states our feminist message may be taken for granted. But in red states they love us as soon as we step over the state line. Until we meet again you reddies!


Josephine Baker

March 16, 2011

Monday, March 21, 2011

New Hampshire Diary #3

Yo Diary!

We drove to Keene, NH, leaving a trail of banana peels in our midst. Our gorilla chatter went on for hours on the long drive, until we finally arrived. I had never seen so much snow before! After a delicious meal, we retired into our Bed and Breakfast... a bit tiny for a gorilla but comfortable none the less.

I roomed with Zora Neale Hurston, who not only enjoyed the room piping hot as I do, but enjoyed snoozing her alarm as many times as possible before getting up in the morning.

Day Two:

Arrived on campus and toured the wonderful facilities. We jumped around in our gorilla suits to warm up for the performance and rehearsed onstage.

During the show, the energy from the crowd was terrific. They seemed to enjoy our improv, especially my blues rhyme about eating cauliflower in the shower. I was quite embarrassed when I made a mistake during my big note on "Size 2 Pants." I suppose I should have agreed to the clause in the contract where Marni Nixon would dub me for that note... Maybe next time, Marni.

My favorite moment was my portrayal of Julia Child. I could feel the audience really enjoyed my performance. And when I got to pie Janis Joplin/Tammy the Tummy, I really gave it to her, which was tremendous fun. It was great to hear so much positive feedback from our viewers.

Afterwards, we had an intense meal at a Mexican restaurant in town. Our waiter, Steven, had a huge sexual energy and said "ohhhhh yeahhh" at everything we ordered and raised his eyebrows seductively when I ordered my second Margarita. Hey, I know gorillas are attractive but calm yourself!

The next day we all snored as Aphra drove us home. Somehow, we misplaced our large bag of bananas, a huge mistake when you have a car full of gorillas! We'll need extra reinforcements next time.

Until then I remain yours truly,

Audrey Hepburn

March 8, 2011

Sunday, March 20, 2011

It's Anti-Street Harassment Day!

Oh! The Virtues of Public Harassment

Say goodbye to ironing! Receive instant pressings when creeps push their bodies against yours for the entire train ride home.

Increase your vocabulary! Use the dictionary to discover the new words you heard in the lewd comments called your way.

Get more miles per gallon! Being tailgated assures you will drive well within the speed limit.

Save money! Why pay for art classes when semi exposed men are right there in front of you?

Unwedge those wedgies! Unwelcome pinches and slaps to your rear end will take care of them.

Be happy forever! Your life is now filled with constant reminders to smile.

A public service message from: